How to Turn Setbacks into Stepping Stones
We’ve all been there—those moments when life throws something at us that feels too heavy to carry, too overwhelming to face. For me, it came in the form of serious health issues that shook me to my core. I’d always been the “strong one,” the one who pushed through, who kept going no matter what. Admitting that I was struggling, that I needed help, felt like a failure. It was as though everything I had worked for—my strength, my independence, my ability to keep going despite everything—was being stripped away.
Looking back, I realize that my childhood played a big part in that mindset. I wasn’t allowed to have my own feelings, my own thoughts. I was silenced, emotionally neglected and abused. So, I grew up believing that being vulnerable, asking for help, or showing weakness was something to be avoided at all costs. When my health forced me to slow down, when I couldn’t keep going the way I always had, it was like I was being asked to confront all of that—everything I had learned about strength, about survival, and about what it meant to be “enough.”
It was hard. I couldn’t see the way forward at first. I felt like I would be stuck in that vulnerable place forever, like my strength and my future had been stolen from me. How could I ever see myself as strong again when everything felt so fragile?
But here’s the thing—sometimes, we need to be brought to our knees in order to find new perspectives. Sometimes, it’s in the hardest, most painful moments that we uncover a deeper strength we didn’t even know was there.
Turning Setbacks Into Stepping Stones
A setback doesn’t have to be the end of the road. In fact, it can be the very thing that shifts you onto a new path—one that’s more aligned with your true self, your purpose, and your strength. The process of turning setbacks into stepping stones begins with a change in perspective.
1. Acknowledge the Setback with Compassion
The first step in turning a setback into a stepping stone is acknowledging it without judgment. It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-blame or frustration, but that only keeps us stuck. Instead, we need to give ourselves permission to feel what we’re feeling—without shame. When I hit my health wall, I had to stop pushing and just be with what was happening. I had to allow myself to be vulnerable, to admit that I wasn’t okay, and that it was okay not to be okay.
2. Reframe the Challenge as an Opportunity for Growth
Once we’ve allowed ourselves to feel, the next step is to reframe the setback. It might feel impossible in the moment, but it’s crucial to understand that challenges aren’t there to break us; they’re there to teach us. It took me a while to realize that my health struggles weren’t a punishment—they were an invitation to grow, to reassess how I was living my life, and to develop a new sense of self-compassion. For the first time, I could see that my body was asking me to slow down, to take better care of myself, and to stop living from a place of constant pressure and perfectionism.
3. Focus on the Small Wins
Healing, growth, and transformation don’t happen overnight. It’s easy to get discouraged when progress feels slow, but small wins matter. I had to take my healing one step at a time, focusing on small actions that brought me closer to better health and a better sense of self. Whether it was getting a little more rest, being kinder to myself, or simply choosing not to rush the process, each small step was a win. These little shifts made a huge difference over time.
4. Let Go of the “Old You”
Sometimes, we’re so attached to who we were before the setback that we resist change. But the truth is, we can’t move forward if we’re constantly holding on to the past. I had to let go of the “strong” version of myself who thought that being invulnerable was the key to survival. I had to embrace a new version of myself—one that was allowed to be imperfect, allowed to rest, and allowed to need help. Letting go of the old story was hard, but it opened the door to a new, more authentic way of living.
5. Cultivate Patience and Trust the Process
One of the most difficult aspects of turning setbacks into stepping stones is learning to be patient with ourselves. I wanted everything to be better right away, but I had to learn that healing—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual—takes time. It’s a journey, not a race. By cultivating patience and trusting the process, I was able to shift from frustration to acceptance, and that made all the difference.
6. Embrace Vulnerability as Strength
The real breakthrough came when I stopped viewing vulnerability as weakness and started seeing it as a source of strength. By being vulnerable with myself and others, I discovered a deeper strength. Admitting that I wasn’t okay, that I needed help, and that I had limits didn’t make me weak—it made me human. That shift in perspective was empowering and allowed me to open up to healing on a much deeper level.
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Turning setbacks into stepping stones is a process that takes time, effort, and a lot of self-compassion. But with every challenge comes an opportunity to grow, to reassess our lives, and to find new strength within ourselves.
When I hit my lowest point, I couldn’t see how I would ever get back to a place where I felt strong and capable again. But by taking it one step at a time, being kind to myself, and allowing my setback to teach me rather than define me, I eventually found my way back to healing. I’m still on that journey, but each step, no matter how small, is a victory.
So, if you’re facing a setback right now, remember: this is not the end. This is your chance to transform, to grow, and to build something stronger than you were before. You’re allowed to take your time, to rebuild at your own pace, and to honour your own journey.
Let every setback be a stepping stone towards a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. 🌱