How to Achieve Inner Peace Despite Life's Challenges

1 minute 58 second read

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Over the past few decades, I've heard countless people tell me how stressed they are. They say they feel unsettled, unhappy, frustrated or discontented.

And they say they would do just about anything if only they could feel a sense of inner peace.

I tell them it is absolutely possible to achieve that but before they let me explain, they start listing all the reasons why it is impossible, all the obligations, the struggles, the family problems, the boss who's a demanding idiot, the in-laws that drive them nuts, the spouse who refuses to help with the chores or the children, the health challenges or messy divorce...whatever is going on in their lives, they insist that these are the reasons for their stress and unhappiness.

I'm not going to diminish the significance of any of these or other life challenges or how difficult they can be. Heaven knows I've endured plenty of my own. So I can promise you that I'm speaking not just from my education but also from my personal experience.

First, I will confirm that yes, it is absolutely possible to achieve inner peace despite whatever is going on around you. The real source of stress, unhappiness, frustration and discontent isn't external; it comes from inside you.

Now before you yell at me and stop reading this, let me explain…

Your perception of the external circumstances of your life is what determines whether or not you feel stressed and miserable. Here’s what I mean: If you choose to adopt an attitude that it's all hard and awful and it hurts, then that's the experience you'll get. If you choose to adopt a positive attitude about being able to handle whatever is happening in your life and you trust that all is well, no matter what, you will get through everything so much easier.

Of course, there are some events that are truly going to throw you, like losing a loved one or dealing with some sort of trauma. Still, there are so many life challenges that will feel a lot less difficult if you learn how to achieve inner peace. Then it won't matter what's going on around you; you'll always manage to stay calm and centred.

The best way to do this is to practice mindfulness meditation every day. Even if you just do ten minutes a day, which is enough to develop discipline for your mind, it will train you to use those same techniques throughout your day and especially when things are difficult. You will keep bringing yourself back to a place of inner stillness, from which you can deal with anything so much better than when your thoughts are left to run wild and create all sorts of havoc.

Mindfulness meditation improves health and longevity when practiced regularly and it's so easy to learn! I know because after struggling to figure it out, I found some simple tips and tricks that made it the easiest thing ever. I’ve been sharing those tips with people for many years and they always see great results instantly.

I've written an award-winning book entitled Meditation Essentials: How to Achieve More Personal and Professional Success and it's loaded with super simple ideas and information to get you started on the path to inner peace. TO GET THE BOOK FREE (just pay shipping, no other obligation), click here.

Too Much on Your Plate? Stressed and Overwhelmed? This Will Help.

1 minute 26 second read

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They say "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Actually, the proper quote by Lao Tzu is that it "...begins beneath one's feet," which means something slightly different.

However, for my purposes here, they're similar enough to make my point, which is about facing a difficult -- or seemingly impossible challenge -- and wanting to give up before you start because it feels like it's just too much to manage.

It's easy to be in a place of feeling overwhelmed. All of us feel that way at times. It's like standing at the base of a mountain and staring up at its tallest peak, knowing you have to scale the damned thing and you don't even have a climbing rope.

You might feel like turning and running full speed in the opposite direction, just changing your mind or abandoning your responsibilities. But of course, sometimes neither of those options will work in the long term.

So what do you do in the short term? How do you get past feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to cope with everything that you're facing?

Well, you do it one step at a time. You look at one small, manageable "something" that you can do right now, in this moment, or today, and you do that. Just take one step and begin the journey up that mountain. Don't look up. Don't look down. Just stay focused on where you need to put your foot next, and that's it.

The more steps you take, the easier they'll get, and eventually you'll feel ready to look up and see how much of that mountain is still ahead of you. It'll also give you a chance to notice how far you've come, which will spur you on and help you to continue to make progress.

Whatever your "mountain" is, every time you start to feel overwhelmed or as though you just can't cope with everything ahead of you, just remember that you don't have to do it all in one day. Focus on just one manageable step for now, and that's all you need to do. Then the next one, and the next one, and so on until you're feeling better.

Have you ever felt like this before? What did you do to start taking steps to move forward? Please share in the comments below. It could help someone else.

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Two Quick and Easy Ways to Lift Yourself Out of a Funk

1 minute 47 second read

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Right now, you might be struggling with some sort of life challenge. Perhaps you've even got a few of them weighing you down. You're certainly in good company; heaven knows I've certainly been there and loads of others are in the same boat. 

You might even feel so low that you're having a tough time doing even the most essential things to take care of yourself. I know what that's like, too. Getting dressed or even brushing your teeth feels like climbing Everest. And forget about preparing healthful meals. You might feel like you've accomplished a monumental task by opening a tin of soup and throwing it in a pot.

There are lots of things you can do for yourself to shift out of this energy and begin to feel better. I don't want to overwhelm you with a long list so I'll keep it simple. Let's stick to just two.

First, how you feel is always directly related to what you're thinking about. If you've got sad, heavy, depressing thoughts roaming through your mind all the time, it's no wonder you haven't got the energy to do anything more than breathe. Those thoughts are loaded with heavy, oppressive negative energy and they'll weigh you down just as surely as if you've got a boulder around your neck.

For example, if you're always thinking things like, "My life sucks and it's completely miserable," no wonder you feel awful. There's nowhere to go with that. It's like you're stuck in it and that's that.

So the first thing you've got to do is start adding some positive thoughts into the mix. Every time you catch yourself thinking something negative, add a positive, progressive statement, something that allows movement toward things being better.

Add something like, "but I'm ready for it to get better." Or even, "but I'm open to it being better every day." The more you do it, the quicker and easier it gets. There are few things you can control but one of them is your thoughts. It just takes a little practice.

The second thing you can do is find a way to help others. Whether it's someone you know, or if you offer to help as a volunteer somewhere, do something to brighten someone else's day. Leave an inexpensive grocery-store bouquet on the doorstep anonymously. Or ring the bell and say, "Hey, want to get out for a walk?" 

Charities are often looking for an extra pair of hands. Diving in and being of service in your community can give you a new perspective on your own troubles, and the positive energy you'll get from doing something to make a difference in the world will be well worth it.  

The more you can get out of your own "stuff" and help someone else, the better you'll feel. It's one of the quickest ways to lift your spirits and remind you of what's really important in life.

Please pop into the comments below and share your favourite way(s) to lift your spirits. You could really help someone else with your ideas.

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"Stop the World! I Wanna Get Off!"

1 minute 56 second read

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I remember being a young girl the first time I heard, "Stop the world! I wanna get off!" It conjured an image of Earth as seen from space, screeching to a halt (cartoon sound effects included), and seeing someone with a suitcase essentially leaping off the planet. What happened to the person after that, I didn't know, but I remember laughing at the idea that Earth could be seen as a large bus and you could just get off at any particular stop if you felt so inclined.

Then I grew up. Life became a series of crises and a whole lot of turmoil. There was just too much on my plate. Everywhere I turned, there were challenges and problems that took everything I had just to get through them. It took quite a while before I heard myself thinking, "Stop the world! I wanna get off!" Only this time, it wasn't making me laugh.

And of course, the world wasn't really going to let me off at some invisible bus stop in outer space. I had to figure out how to get what I needed while staying on right here on terra firma.

It's easy for us to become overwhelmed in our insanely busy culture. There's information coming at us from all directions all the time. Phones and computers dinging and beeping with constant notifications of some sort of activity, most of which really don't matter in the least, but we treat them as though our lives depend on them.

The way we conduct business is changing, moving to the internet in a massive way while companies are closing their doors. This is adding equally massive pressure to many people. We have to reinvent ourselves, the way we connect with people, even the way we earn a living.

An extra problem is that we wait until we're overwhelmed and feeling like we're going to snap before recognise that we have to do something to reduce stress. This. Is. Not. Good.

The most important thing you can do to feel well and balanced. This will help you to deal with the challenges and keep you from feeling overwhelmed.

And in order to feel well and balanced, you've got to put yourself at the top of your list of priorities. Here are a few tips:

1. Make sure you meditate every morning, even if it's only for 5-10 minutes. It sets you up for a more harmonious day.

2. Spend at least 30 minutes a day doing something you love.

3. Do some sort of physical activity each day that releases physical tension and reduces cortisol. A walk, yoga, shooting hoops, ride a bike. Even just getting down on the floor and doing some gentle stretches can make a world of difference after your work day is through.

4. Drink a lot of water to help flush toxins and reduce exhaustion and headaches.

5. Eat whole foods as often as possible and avoid junk and processed foods. What you put into your body will determine what you get out of it.

Pop into the comments below and share what you do when you need to "stop your world so you can get off." Your input could help someone else!

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How You Spend Your Time Reveals What’s Really Important to You…

1 minute 41 second read

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How do you spend your time? What happens to all the hours of your day? 

More importantly, what happens to the minutes? They can disappear into hours without you even noticing. A few minutes frittered away on this, a few more on that, and poof, they add up to hours wasted and your life is vanishing before your very eyes. Every grain of sand in an hourglass is like one of your precious minutes. As each one passes from the top to the bottom, the remaining ones become that much more important.

Do you talk about the things you want to do, plan to do, or intend to do? Do you keep saying you'll call this person or make a date to spend time with that one, but it never seems to happen?

If something really super over-the-top once-in-a-lifetime fabulous comes up that you'd absolutely love to do, is it easy to drop everything and do it? I'm guessing "Yes." 

And what about the time you spend on social media, or staring at your phone or other screens repeatedly, even when there's nothing new but it's become a habit to keep checking? For many people, this is going to be a "Yes," too.

What about everything in between? That course you'd love the take, a place you'd love to see. What about those relationships that you think can wait? What about time with your family or your dearest friends? Even if it's as simple as a short phone chat or a more fun video connection where you can smile at each other. It doesn't have to take a lot of time but I can guarantee that it's much better for you to spend that little bit of time connecting with loved ones than mindlessly staring at screens.

It's so easy to think people will always be here, even though we know they won't. Whether disconnections happen, people drift apart, someone dies or moves away, eventually every single connection that you have with the people in your life right now will end. 

And you don't always get any notice that it's going to happen. They're here one minute and gone the next.

Sure, you know this in your head. But what are you doing about it? 

And as for all those things you say you want to do, are planning to do, or intending to do, those opportunities won't always be there either. You never know what lies around the corner. A single "tick" of a clock can change everything. 

Those grains of sand in your hourglass are quietly slipping away…

We will always, always, always make time for the people or things that matter to us. If you pay attention to the way you spend your minutes, you'll soon discover what's really important to you.

I wonder how you'll feel about what you find... 

If you'd care to share, please let me know in the comments below.

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Mirror, Mirror, Everywhere, Show Me Now Why I Should Care...

1 minute 44 second read

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Everywhere you look, there are mirrors. Not the kind you glance in to fix your hair or freshen your lipstick.

No, I'm talking about the other kind. They will also reflect parts of you that you show the world but it's because they are nudging you to look at something inside yourself. You can try to ignore them. You can look away and pretend they aren't there. But until you look in those mirrors and address what they're trying to show you, it will keep presenting itself in an effort to make you to face it and do something about it.

There are mirrors in all of your relationships. There are mirrors in every interaction you have with others. There are even mirrors in every thought you think and every reaction you have to the events and circumstances in your life.

Whether pleasant or unpleasant, whether palatable or not, we are constantly being shown who we are. When someone "rubs you the wrong way," or whenever you feel offended, dismayed, or upset by the behaviour of someone else (whether it's directed at you or not), it might be that they're demonstrating a behaviour of your own, and something that you really don't like about yourself.

Or it could be that they're showing something about yourself that still needs healing or improving. How can you tell?

Perhaps you get defensive and feel attacked or threatened. Maybe you feel insulted, offended, or indignant. If so, it's your Ego talking, the human part of you that is trying to keep you safe. It's well aware that it's not perfect. It knows that you've got some insecurities or vulnerable spots and it just wants to protect you.

But it's not doing you any favours by refusing to let you see what's really going on beneath the surface. And that's exactly where you need to look in order to move forward in life. That's what the mirrors will do. They give you the opportunity to see the places where you've still got room for healing or improvement in some way.

They'll also show you the positive aspects of yourself. The more loving and kind you are, the more it will be reflected back to you. And when you treat others in that way but you don't get it in return, it's because those people still have healing to do and you've been a mirror for them, offering an opportunity for them to see why they struggle to accept it.

If you're ever going to progress and be happier and more at peace within yourself, be brave and look at what is being reflected back to you throughout your days, whether it's validating the good or pointing you to something that still needs healing. Be grateful for the mirrors. They are beautiful gifts that will enable you to be all you are destined to be.

When has something triggered you in a way that didn’t feel good, and what did it show you about yourself that needed healing or completion? Let me know in the comments below.

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So ... Life is Kicking Your @$$ ... Here's Why.

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1 minute 17 second read

Recently, I was chatting with a dear friend. She commented on the fact that the current Full Moon (said to be an especially potent one in astrology terms) was seriously kicking her @$$. Apparently, all sorts of unexpected weirdness and emotional issues bubbled up and a significant blast from the past nearly knocked her sideways.

She was bemoaning the fact that this was all kind of overwhelming. She was asking why this "divine connection 'crap' has to be so f****** hard?!" She wondered if we choose this stuff while still in spirit and asked (with the laugh-till-you-cry emoji) "What were we thinking?????"

At least she's kept her humour about it all.

I can certainly relate to how she's feeling and I've known countless people down the years who feel the same way - although not always with as much humour as this particular beautiful friend. Sometimes life can get terribly messy and painfully ugly and it's not so easy to breeze through the bigger challenges that get thrown at us.

But whether you're struggling with the Big Ugly Stuff or something more minor, my answer to the question of "why the hell is this happening to me?" would be the same. Essentially, it's time for you to expand, to stretch and do more, grow more, and become more.

I told my friend that a strong @$$-whooping is a compliment from the universe. It's telling you that you're capable of handling great change and a big, positive shift.

I added that it's really not an @$$-kicking. It's Mama Bird chucking Baby out of the nest and saying, "See?? You're ready to fly!" It's scary but Baby Bird flaps and freaks out and then...FLIES.

The bigger the life challenges, the more you're being asked to shift into whatever is next for you. It's not that the universe is picking on you. It's not that God has abandoned you (whatever the word "God" might mean to you).

In fact, it's quite the opposite. You've been chosen to move up in your personal and spiritual journey. It's progress! The sooner you embrace it, the easier it will be.

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Bothered by the Behaviour of Others? It Contains Precious Gifts...

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1 minute 39 second read

It can be too easy for us to get ourselves bent out of shape about what the behaviours of others. They were rude, they were inconsiderate, they were thoughtless or selfish. We label them with our judgement.

No doubt there have been a lot of times you've heard yourself say (with great indignation), "How dare he do something like that?!"

And we allow ourselves to become upset by their words and actions, often while stewing over the offending behaviour.

It has been said that the things that irritate us about other people are behaviours or aspects of ourselves that we don't like. When I first heard this, I was very young and absolutely disagreed without thinking about it. But as I aged, I began to discover that although it wasn't always the case, there were definitely more occasions on which that was the truth than I wanted to admit.

The beauty in that, however, is that once I was willing to look at it, I could see the gift in it because it allowed me another layer of self-awareness. I could see that there were times I'd been upset with others for doing a version of something I had done, too.

The more I paid attention to my reactions to events that I found to be upsetting when I was on the receiving end, the more I was able to find room for improvement within myself.

It is also true that not every occasion was about one of my own behaviours. In some cases, whatever it was that I found to be upsetting was a trigger, reminding me of a past incident, something that still stung. Often, there wasn't anything particularly rude or disrespectful in the behaviour; it was merely my interpretation because of my own issues.

The gift in this was in discovering wounds that had remained unhealed. This was especially helpful when I'd thought an issue had been resolved but apparently, there was another layer lurking and interfering with my life in some way.

Now, if I find myself feeling irritated by the behaviour of someone else, I ask myself why I feel that way. I take a good look to see if there are ways in which I am exhibiting the same behaviour. If I'm not, then I dig into why I feel triggered by the event.

At the end of the day, unless the behaviour of others impacts me directly (e.g. someone hits me or trashes my home), it's none of my business. I can choose not to react. I don't have to feel anything one way or another. Their behaviour is no reflection on me, unless I choose to make it about me. I can just observe and move on.

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How Do You Discover Your Purpose for This Life?

1 minute 43 second read

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I can't tell you how many times people have told me, “I have absolutely no idea what my purpose is or what I’m meant to do in this life!”

To be honest, I don't know if there's just one answer to that burning question anyway. I mean, we are complex beings who are capable of having numerous gifts, abilities, and talents that could make us think “Oh, that's where I’ll find whatever it is that I’m supposed to be doing in the world!”

Further complicating the issue is that we are bombarded with life events and circumstances that can adversely affect our lives — or positively impact them, as well. Sometimes those events seem to lead us into something that we think we're meant to do, or a message that we're supposed to share.

In that case, we might find ourselves asking, "Is this my purpose? Is this my destiny? And if it is — or isn't — how will I know?"

If we have any chance at all of knowing the absolute truth about any of those questions, we won't know for sure until we're back in the spirit realm. Actually, we don't even know that there is a point or a purpose to our lives, although I choose to believe there is.

In the meantime, I've come up with a sort of recipe to help people discover what it is they're meant to be doing during their time here on the planet. Or at least, what might be a good use of their time and skills if there isn't actually a purpose for any of this.

First, think about what you really love to do. What lights you up? If you could get up every day and not have to worry about money or anything else and could just do whatever you want, what would it be?

For some it's various kinds of creativity like art or dance or music. For others, it might be playing with numbers, or creating Sudoku puzzles (I cannot imagine...). Still others want to play with little children, work with homeless people, build bridges or see the world.

The next step is to think about what you're really good at doing. What are your natural abilities? You know, those things you can do that always amaze others even though you think they're no big deal because they're so easy for you. What is it that comes easily to you?

When you can bring these two elements of yourself together — what you love and what comes easily to you — this is where you will find your purpose. Or at least, one of them! You might discover several at that intersection.

I'd love to hear what you believe is your purpose. How are you lighting up the world in your own special way? Go ahead and share in the comments below.

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Are You Stuck on the "Toxic People" Merry-Go-Round?

1 minute 52 second read

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There are those people in life who are struggling, lost, or challenged in a way that adversely impacts not only their own lives, but the lives of those around them. It might have been due to a messy childhood or other unhappy circumstances. Or perhaps too many things caved in on top of them all at once and they've gone off the rails for a while. Some people just seem to live there and we never really know how they got there.

We love these people even if we don’t like their behaviour. They might say and do some terrible things to us, to themselves, and to others. They might shock us with how much hurt they can inflict, or just how plain mean and spiteful they can be.

Sometimes they're simply misguided...lost and seeking answers, seeking help, rescue, love. They might not even know what it is they are seeking. Rather than taking action regarding the circumstances they don't like, they live in constant "reaction". They make choices that usually involve a lot of emotional response with little (if any) rational thought or helpful decision-making ability.

We see the hurt. We see their pain. We may or may not understand it but we recognise it. We see their self-destructive choices, their Egos that are desperately trying to protect themselves from further damage but really they're just causing more by hurting everyone around them.

They say they want help and that they just want to be happy. We offer our support and our love. We suggest and coax and encourage. But they keep throwing themselves off one figurative bridge after another, disregarding all efforts to help them and refusing to help themselves. And worse, they take a lot of prisoners with them, hurling insults or accusations about how no one cares about them, no one loves them, or no one ever wants to help them.

Perhaps they fear change. Maybe it just feels too hard and overwhelming. Or maybe it's because they're just so used to living in a state of crisis and drama that they really don't know how to be any other way.

Whatever the reason, their refusal to help themselves wreaks havoc on the lives of everyone around them. We get yanked along on the horrifying roller coaster of too many crises and too much chaos to the point where it adversely impacts our health and our happiness until we say, "ENOUGH."

It is absolutely true that you cannot help those who do not want (or try) to help themselves. It's one thing to support and assist loved ones who are obviously doing their part to try to turn their lives around. Does that mean they won't slip now and then? Of course not. But as long as they keep doing their best, it makes sense to continue to support them.

As for the ones who just keep living in the midst of a nightmare and they want you to live there with them...as long as you choose to stay there, you're destroying your own life as much as they're destroying theirs.

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Do You Honour Your Word?

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1 minute 47 second read

How many times have you made yourself a promise that you would do something and then put it off? Whether it's starting a diet, exercising more, being more organised, stopping smoking, eating less junk food, or anything else on the planet, how often have you made a plan and then not followed through on it?

If you're like many people, it's a lot.

Maybe you tell yourself you're just being patient, and although you desire a particular result from the change you say you'll make, you're prepared to wait just a little longer for it. You pride yourself on not feeling frustrated about your current weight of lack of fitness. You call it "self-acceptance" and you smile as you promise that you'll still make those changes but there's no great hurry to do it.

It's true, self-acceptance is important. However, it's also important to be clear about what's behind your lack of follow-through because it might just be self-sabotage more than anything else. It might be an underlying lack of self-love and self-respect that keep you stuck in unhealthy behaviours that validate how you really feel about yourself on a deeper level.

It's likely that the excuse of being "patient" is really just a nice word for procrastination. And so is the excuse that you didn't use the word "promise." It was just "something you said you'd do but you have the right to change your mind." Look, this is about following through and keeping your word, whether you called it a promise or not.

You might think it doesn't matter if you don't keep your word to yourself because no one knows about it but you. But if that's the case, you're not always keeping it in other areas of your life either. It shows a lack of integrity and others will notice it, even if you don't.

If you're not honouring your word to yourself, ask yourself why. What negative beliefs about yourself are you validating? What positive beliefs would you like to cultivate?

If negative self-beliefs are sabotaging your desires to improve yourself or your life in some way, you'll struggle to keep your promises. So instead of swearing you'll stick to that diet, or that you'll exercise more often, just make one promise to yourself: That you will honour your word - to yourself and to others.

Set yourself up for success by only making promises or declarations that you know you can keep. Be realistic in your expectations of yourself.

When you see that you're following through on everything you said you'd do, this will jack up your sense of self-worth and self-respect in a big way.

It will also help to boost self-confidence and once you see that you are honouring your word and you see how much better you're feeling about yourself, it will be easier for you to start making those changes you desire with diet, lifestyle or whatever else you choose.

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"Pain Is Inevitable; Suffering Is Optional..." (Quote by Haruki Murakami)

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(1 minute, 52 second read)

The Buddha taught that suffering arises when we have attachments to things that we desire. Whether this is in material objects, relationships, or various pleasure in life, the issue is that everything is transient and ultimately, loss is inevitable. We cannot always have the "thing" we want to buy, the trip we want to take, the person who doesn't love us back or that "not-good-for-us-but-wonderful-something" that we wish we could eat, drink, ingest or do.

Buddhism also teaches us that the only constant is change. As long as we draw breath, nothing about our lives is fixed or permanent. When you desire something, you are attempting to control it or make it happen

This is going against the forces of the universe and is a recipe for anxiety, depression, frustration, disappointment and other unpleasant emotions when you are not able to have or achieve that which you desire. This is the cause of suffering.

It is virtually impossible to completely eliminate desire. You can desire water when you're thirsty or food when you're hungry. The conundrum is that when you try to stop desiring something, you're still desiring to stop desiring.

What is most important is to eliminate attachment and desire as much as possible. This is how to end suffering and find true freedom from all anxieties, worries, and troubles.

When I first heard this idea, I thought, "How are we not supposed to feel attached to our children or other loved ones?" It took a while for me to realise that we can love without attachment because they're like comparing apples and frogs. They're not at all the same. We can love our children (and others) for who and what they are without feeling attached to a desire for those relationships to be a certain way.

Sometimes it means letting go of people you love, even if it's your children or other family members. Staying attached to a relationship that isn't working will only bring distress and toxicity to your life.

One significant game-changer in releasing attachment and suffering is in the stories we tell ourselves. A relationship breaks up and we say things like, "I'll never find someone so wonderful again." Or "I'll never be happy again." Or "I'll never get over this."

As long as you choose to think such negative thoughts, you're right, you'll never be happy or find that "someone wonderful." It is up to you to create positive thoughts and to focus on good possibilities and keep your vibration high so you can attract like-minded positive people and situations that will light up your life.

Let go of your negative thinking. Let go of the sad-sack stories. Focus on the good in your life and stop fretting about the past or worrying about the future, for neither exists. The only reality is this present moment, this one, right here, right now. You can choose to make it a happy, positive, blessed moment of gratitude in your life. Or you can suffer through it by dwelling on what's wrong, what you're lacking or will never have.

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