Viewing entries tagged
disappointment

Feeling Uncertain About Your Future?

I know how it is to feel like you’re immersed in nothing but question marks. Whether it happened suddenly or by stealth, your life seems to have taken a turn down a road that’s dark and thick with trees so you can’t get a glimpse of what lies ahead.

It can leave you feeling uncertain about everything and fearful about not knowing what lies ahead.

But the truth is, we never know what lies ahead, not beyond the very moment in which we are standing. We make plans and we think that they’ll turn out as we expect. Even though we know sometimes it doesn’t happen like that, usually we keep moving forward on the assumption that things will go according to plan.

And we’re shocked when they don’t. Or we’re hurt or feel like we’ve failed. Or we’re afraid because we feel like we don’t have any control over our lives.

In reality, control is an illusion. It’s really just about having a plan and believing it’s going to go as you want. But other things come into play and things happen that you hadn’t anticipated, or perhaps you had but you thought you might be able to stop them.

You have this moment, and only this moment. The only truth that exists is the one that you experience right now. 

Everything can change in the next five minutes or the next breath. Things come out of the blue; life happens and the only thing we know for sure is that change is a given.

When you feel like you can’t stand the not knowing, just remember that you never really ‘know’ anyway. You’ve only got a plan, but there’s never any guarantee that it will turn out as you want it to do. 

When you accept this and just be open to going with the flow and seeing how it will all turn out, you’ve done yourself the biggest favour in the world. Now you don’t have disappointment, because you’ve given up expectation. Now you don’t have fear of the unknown because you’re happy to see whatever comes and view it as an adventure.

 

When you feel lost, it’s all about your perspective. You don’t really know any more or less for having a plan or not - because life will continue to unfold as it’s going to do. Be at peace with this moment and the rest will take care of themselves. 

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Need A Dream? Get One. The Dream Store Is Always Open.

Do you have a dream? Maybe even a few? I hope so. But I know it's possible that you don't.

Perhaps you had one that died. And if that's the case, what happened to it? Did you or someone else kill it? Or did it die from neglect?

It is our natural state to dream. Little kids are always fantasizing, dreaming about what they want to be when they grow up They use their imaginations and make up games all the time. They're creative, inventive, loaded with ideas and possibilities.

 

Somewhere along the way, after a lot of disillusionment and crushing disappointment, they turned around and saw that their dreams had disappeared. There was no more fantasizing. No more believing in possibilities, or even in themselves. Their journeys had become flat, lifeless, boring.

So one pointless step after another, they plod on through life, shoulders drooping, head hanging, wondering why they should bother at all, except to get the bills paid and muddle through the long string of unexciting, uninspiring days that lie ahead.

Insert a dream into that picture, a vision for something wonderful, something fulfilling and rewarding that lies ahead and you get a completely different feeling.

Suddenly, everything has colour again. There is a reason to get through those days. There is excitement, anticipation, planning and hoping. Everything looks brighter because life has meaning and purpose again.

When you have dreams, they'll always be a reflection of some big part of who you are. In pursuing those dreams, you're on a path that leads you to greater self-awareness, self-expression and creativity.

With each new dream you have, you discover even more about yourself. You explore, reach, stretch, and get a little closer to becoming all you're meant to be.

As a hypnotist, I've seen some pretty amazing things that can be achieved in the body because of the power of the mind. So even if you have a dream that you think is impossible, keep dreaming, even if for no other reason than "it feels good." It transports you to a beautiful, happy place, alters the chemistry in your body and lifts your spirits.

We have enough misery in life; it's great to have some fun and be on the lookout for happiness wherever we can find it. So what if you're 68 years old and everyone thinks you're nuts to still dream of being a rock star someday? Put on those leathers, strap on your guitar and scream till you're hoarse, all the while envisioning the sea of faces in front of you, the tens of thousands who have come to hear your music.

Have you forgotten how to dream? I've been there - more than once. For most of my life, every dream I ever had was blown to smithereens so I gave up bothering after a while. I went so long without having one, I didn't even think about them any more.

But then I changed my life. And suddenly, dreams began to spring up again out of nowhere. Now I'm actively digging for them and I've got so many, I can't keep track. They motivate me, inspire me, encourage me as I'm motoring along through my insanely busy life. They are the reason I work crazy hours and have my hand in so many pots, I've lost count.

My days revolve around pursuing my dreams, which makes me happier than I could ever begin to describe. I'm truly blessed in that everything I do for "work" is just a natural part of who I am, so it doesn't feel like work. I'm just living somewhere on the continuum of my dreams which have been realised to a great extent in some ways, but not in others - yet! - and I look forward to watching them unfold.

Having been dreamless for such a long time, it makes me even more appreciative for the many dreams I have now, especially as I'm seeing them become my reality. I don't even care about the ones that died or were beaten to death so long ago.

I wish that at those times, I'd have seen that I just needed to get a new dream. I wouldn't have suffered so much, wouldn't have felt that terrible aching loss and the emptiness that go with grieving for something that never will be.

But that was before I knew any better.

I don't want to hear about how it hurts to dream and have it be taken from you. Stop dwelling on the past. Just because previous dreams were shattered, it doesn't mean the next one will be, too. And if it is, you'll survive.

If you don't have a dream right now, get one. You can go to the Dream Store. It never closes. There's an endless selection of dreams, in every shape, colour and magnitude imaginable. And guess what? Dreams are free. They let you take as many as you want. They don't even care if you stuff your pockets with them, only to take them home and stash them away for later.

Okay.  Now you know there's no excuse for not having a dream.  If you don't have one, do yourself a really enormous favour today, before you go to bed tonight. Go on now. Get yourself a dream.

 

 

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When The Answer to Your Prayers Is "No."

Have you ever had a plan that didn’t seem to be working? You couldn’t understand how something that felt so right when you planned it could turn out to be so wrong?

Perhaps you took a few guesses at why it wasn’t working and tried to fix each one but the more you tried to fix it, the more wrong it seemed to become.

But was it really wrong? Had you missed something you could have fixed? Or had it initially been perfect just the way it was, with a Higher Purpose being served by your plan appearing to be a complete and utter failure?

With these and many other questions rolling through your mind, and even more possible answers, you might have grown more confused by the minute as every possible answer threw out a growing list of suggested courses of action.

Changing the plan hadn’t worked so maybe it looked like you should abandon it altogether, at least for the time being, and in the specific circumstances.  

But maybe that felt like failure to you. Like giving up, admitting defeat, all of which go completely against your grain.

But had you really failed? No. You had to understand that you might as well have been selling high quality diamonds in Walmart. There may have been a few diamond-loving customers in the shop but they didn’t happen to pass by your little stand while you were there.  

That wasn’t your fault and it didn’t mean no one liked or wanted your diamonds. There was nothing wrong with your diamonds. And there was nothing wrong with the Walmart shoppers. So failure had nothing to do with it.

Well, then, if you packed up your little stand and left before closing, were you giving up?  

No. You were accepting that Walmart shoppers aren’t looking for high quality diamonds.  

Or they might have wandered past, loved the sparkle, thought they were beautiful – but diamonds wouldn’t go with their everyday clothing, so perhaps they were still just window-shopping and trying to imagine themselves actually wearing your diamonds someday.

Would you be admitting defeat? No. You weren't doing battle with anyone or anything so it wouldn't have been about that.

Maybe you went back to the beginning. You looked at your plan. In and of itself, it was a great plan. You looked at all of its components – your intentions, the whole point, what you were trying to accomplish. Nope, you couldn’t see anything wrong in any of that.

And as it seemed that the more you changed it, the worse things got, maybe you decided that it must have been a lot closer to “right” when you started. You couldn’t have been so wrong after all. Could you?

But you say you really needed and wanted your plan to work and you had been so sure it would. So very, absolutely, 100% certain. And an awful lot was riding on your plan being successful.

Maybe when it looked like it was going to fall apart, you went so far as to pray for it to be okay. Maybe you kept insisting it would be fine. You were determined to continue, whatever the outcome, because you're just not a quitter. You waited for an answer to your prayers.

Finally, the answer came. And it was “No.”

You hadn't thought of that as "an answer to your prayers" now, had you...

As they say, when a door closes, a window opens. So you must get busy looking out that window to see what you can see.

I hope you can see that your plan did not fail. You did not give up. You were not defeated. I hope you can see that your plan provided you with valuable lessons you needed to learn if you were going to progress, so how could that be wrong or a failure?  

It had to be exactly the way it was, even if you still don’t know all the reasons why – and it would help if you don’t think you have to know all of them – and that you understand that it’s part of a much bigger puzzle.

You have not abandoned or given up on your plan. It is merely in a state of great transformation. And one day, it will become an even more beautiful diamond.

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