Is This What's Standing In Your Way?
I find it intriguing that many people shy away from meaningful self-analysis. They seem reluctant to increase their self-awareness, often remaining at a fairly superficial level. They don't truly understand what makes them tick, nor do they seem to care. Instead, they carry on with whatever they do, oblivious to whether it brings them happiness or lands them in trouble. They live by the motto "leave well enough alone."
That might be fine if things are genuinely "well enough," but often, they aren’t. Many wander through life, dragging emotional wounds behind them like steamer trunks filled with pain, insecurity, fear, and feelings of inadequacy.
On the surface, they may think they’re happy—or at least they don’t notice if they’re not. They fail to recognize that the steamer trunk is firmly planted in the middle of the road ahead of them, obstructing various aspects of their lives. It also stands squarely in the way of their inward journey, the one that leads to self-awareness and understanding—the one that leads to healing.
They stare at that trunk with trepidation, fearing what’s inside, as though lifting the lid will unleash some horrifying monsters that will tear their heads off. "Better left locked up," they decide. They’ll park there, content not to venture any further. "Self-awareness? No, thanks. Too scary."
Beyond the steamer trunk lies a big, dark closet. They peer past it but can't see anything, and that’s okay because they don’t really want to know what’s hidden there. They’re sure it can’t be anything good.
And in part, they’re right. There are certainly bits that aren’t pleasant. We all have them. But there’s also a wealth of great stuff hidden away. There’s wisdom, insights they didn’t know they had.
So, you bite the bullet and decide to risk it—at least a little. You’re not ready to flip on the bright bulb hanging in that closet, but maybe you can shine a flashlight inside as you journey inward. The further you go, the more you discover about who you really are. You confront the truths about yourself, honestly and bravely.
Yes, it can be a bit uncomfortable in there, and you won’t always find things you like. But becoming aware of them can make a monumental difference in how you live your life, how you treat others, how you treat yourself, and whether you progress toward happiness and fulfillment.
Rest assured, you’ll also uncover plenty of wonderful treasures—places of beauty and strength, wisdom, and insight. You’ll be amazed by how much you didn’t know you knew. You’ll discover just how far you’ve come and how radiant your spirit truly is, making you more willing and able to let the rest of us see it, too.
The journey inward is one of the most frightening experiences we can undertake, but it’s also one of the most rewarding. Personally, I don’t fear it; I embrace it. I love it. Muddy bits and all, I’m happy to keep discovering more about myself so that I can address the parts I don’t like (or at least stop letting them interfere with my life) and make good use of the best bits.
I don’t understand why we should ever be so afraid of ourselves that we don’t want to know ourselves intimately. What perplexes me even more is that, in this state, so many people complain that their partners don’t understand them.
Well, how could anyone else understand you when you don’t understand yourself?
Most of us wish for partners who will love and accept us unconditionally, flaws and all. But how can we expect anyone to embrace our imperfections if we don’t even want to see them ourselves?
To me, that’s about as hypocritical as it gets. "I don’t love myself; I don’t fully accept myself because I refuse to delve into the murky depths of my psyche. It’s scary in there, but I’ll find Mr./Ms. Right who will love me perfectly, no matter what, and who will always be there for me, accepting all my quirks and flaws, even if I’m too scared to uncover what they are."
Ummm…really?
Taking that journey isn’t as daunting as it seems when you balance the good with the not-so-good. It’s just you in there—so how bad can it be? Believe me, you’ll discover a lot of the same kinds of stuff that everyone else has. We’re not that different from one another. Yes, we share many fears and flaws, but we can also be truly wonderful.
Come on, be brave. Be willing to shove aside that steamer trunk and flip on that bright light in the closet. You’re the only one who has to know what you find, unless you choose to share it. So what’s there to fear?