Should Those Skeletons Stay in the Closet?

 

Do you have any secrets? Of course you do. Do you ever wonder if you should tell someone? Perhaps you wonder about telling just some of those secrets. But you probably decide to keep them to yourself. And that's likely for the best.

Everyone has them. There's a part of ourselves that only we know about and no one else does. It's one of the four 'windows' of personality. There's also the part we know about ourselves and others know, too. There's the part that others know about us and we don't. And the part that we don't know about, and neither does anyone else.

Sometimes when we do something that isn't very nice, or is shocking, or could hurt others if they knew about it, we feel compelled to tell someone. Easing a guilty conscience may do some good for the person who blabbed, but getting it off your chest and dumping it on someone else is not necessarily helpful and, in fact, it can be quite destructive.

If and when you feel compelled to tell all, to spill your guts about that really stupid thing you did when you had a few too many, or you were feeling really vulnerable, or just being plain foolish, remember this: Clearing your conscience is not a reason to tell such things.

When you release yourself of the burden of what you did by telling someone else about it, you are handing the burden to that person, whether or not he/she wants it. It might leave that person with a moral or ethical dilemma. Or it might present awkward problems because of the judgement of others who will never understand. It may cause permanent damage to your relationships.

Ask yourself why you want to spill your guts. Are you doing it to ease your conscience? Will there be anything achieved by 'fessing up? Will it improve anything? Alter the course of someone's path? And if so, will it be altered in a positive way or a negative way?

If nothing is to be gained by telling your secret to someone, you might want to rethink doing it. If someone will be hurt by it and no good can come from sharing it, what's the point? You still did whatever it was in the first place, you can't change that, and in all likelihood, letting that sleeping dog lie is probably for the best.

When we do things that later become our 'skeletons in the closet' and cannot be fixed or changed, they can at least do some good by serving as quiet reminders of difficult lessons learned. Everyone has a dark side; each of us is capable of greatness and of awfulness. When we've crossed the line into awfulness, best to learn from it and refocus on our potential greatness.

Some things are really better left unsaid.

Spiritual Arts Mentor and Master Teacher, Liberty Forrest, guides you in discovering who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path.

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