The Truth About Appreciation: Why Don’t Some People Like It?
Image created by author in openart.ai
Closely related to gratitude, isn’t it a good thing?
“Surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher.” — Oprah Winfrey
So … I’ve some a li’l somethin’ on my mind and seriously, I do not understand this. I’m curious about your feelings on the subject so it’s gonna be our topic this week and I will be eager to hear your thoughts in the comments and/or in your submissions.
I was having a little comments conversation (don’tcha just love those?) with a friend a few days ago and it came up that there areactually people complainingabout having someone say,“I appreciate you!”
HUH?? Are you kidding me?
Okay, I don’t like it either when it’s disingenuous. But then, I don’t like anything that’s disingenuous. Like on Survivor when it’s 3 days in and the first person is voted out after everyone’s been saying how much they don’t like or trust that person (and they can’t even really know that person after 3 days). And after Jeff snuffs out that torch and the Island Reject is walking off, a few people call out, “Love you!” and make little hearts with their hands.
Sure. Liars.
So yeah, I’ve had people tell me, “I appreciate you!” when I haven’t said or done anything in particular to warrant it. Just met them, shop owners, fake friend of a friend over coffee — you know the type.
But then, I don’t like any dishonest, or — okay, let’s stick with “disingenuous” (it’s not quite as blatant as “dishonest”) comments. So don’t say “Love you!” if you don’t. And don’t say it’s “Awesome!” if it doesn’t actually inspire awe. Does anyone even remember actual awe anymore?
I doubt it. But I can promise you it’s not “awesome” that someone’s gonna text you later, or see ya tomorrow.
Anyway…what’s with people now being afraid to say, “I appreciate you” when they mean it?
Here’s the thing: Appreciation hangs out in the same neighbourhood as gratitude. They’re best pals. And they are well up the Emotional Frequency Chart.
What’s that, you ask?
We know that all animate and inanimate objects have their own energy fields with specific vibrational frequencies. This is the speed at which their atoms and particles are vibrating. These vibrations are measured in hertz (Hz) units. The faster the vibration, the higher the frequency.
You might think Love would be at the top — the highest frequency. But you’d be wrong. When you’re feeling and living from a place of Love, you’re vibrating at around 500 Hz. Sure, it’s up there, but at the top of the chart is Enlightenment at 700 Hz.
And when you’re focused on appreciation, you’re vibrating at an even higher level than Love. Betcha didn’t expect that, didja? Appreciation registers as 540 Hz.
According to Ruth Ratliff, voice and vibrational sound professional:
“Considering biologist Bruce Tainio’s research that found that your body resonates at a frequency of 62–78 MHz, this is quite an increase.”
Shame is right at the bottom of the scale, barely vibrating at a mere 20 Hz. Guilt is only slightly above at 30 Hz. Ouch.
What’s worse is that when you spend a lot of time in those emotions, in those energies — those frequencies — you will attract more of the same. Worse, you will repel the higher ones.
Likewise but reversed with the higher frequencies. You’ll repel the lower frequencies, and the more time you spend embracing all the good stuff like joy, appreciation, gratitude, and peace, the more you will attract people and situations that are vibrating right up there with you.
Hanging out with those people is energising. And equally, hanging out with people who live in low vibrational frequencies is exhausting. It depletes our energy. It drags our frequencies down and leaves us feeling somewhere we don’t want to be. It feels terrible.
“When you level up your life’s energy, some vibrations just don’t match where you’re going next and they need to be left behind, — because energy is contagious.
“If you hang with low vibe and low frequency people their energy affect yours in negative ways and many times you have to struggle to protect yourself and your vibe when you’re with them. — Maria Erving
Exactly.
Ever notice what happens when you’re having a great day, on top of the world, feeling joy and gratitude and all that good stuff, and then you run into a Negative Nelly or a Bad Luck Schleprock? Remember him from the Flintstones? Everywhere he went, bad things happened. He was always saying “Woe is me!” and expecting the worst. And that’s exactly what he got.
Here’s a little clip from the Flintstones when grown-up Pebbles and Bam Bam were trying (unsuccessfully) to change his image:
Video courtesy of biggbee123 on YouTube
Anyway — the point I’m making is that appreciation is a high vibration emotion and experience of life. It’s a beautiful starting point for all we do and say. If you show up to life with an attitude of appreciation — even for the hardships because of the gifts and blessings they leave for you — and you come from that place every day, not only will it improve your health and make you feel better and happier, it’ll also bring more joy and beauty to those around you.
Should you keep your appreciation to yourself? No!
We’re already silenced so much by the “Woke” movement that the scales have been tipped. The others of us are afraid to open our mouths (or pick up our proverbial pens) for fear of inadvertently offending those who are so busy criticizing people for not being tolerant that they’re completely oblivious to the fact that they, themselves, are intolerant — sometimes to the point of bullying the rest of us into silence for fear of repercussions. They now have the loudest voices. There is no equality. No balance. It’s gone too far.
Can’t we just respect each other’s differences? Can’t we just say what we need to say? Especially when there was no malice or hurtful intent in our words? Can we not just extend a little grace and let people express themselves as long as it’s with kindness at its core?
I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why there’s something offensive about saying, “I appreciate you!” And to be honest, you’re NEVER responsible for other people’s feelings or how they take what you say. They get to be in control of their own responses. So if you want to tell them you appreciate them, and they choose to feel annoyed or offended, that’s their right. Or their problem.
Perhaps they have self-esteem or self-worth issues and they have a hard time believing that anyone could appreciate them. I was there decades ago. Absolutely hated myself till I was in my early 20s. Pains me to say it. Thank heaven for a long healing journey. I can’t relate to that feeling at all anymore.
If low self-esteem is the reason they don’t like it, I feel bad for them and hope they can learn to love and value themselves. But in the meantime, do they have to silence others and tell them they shouldn’t say it —and leave them feeling like they shouldn’t say it to anyone??
I say it a lot. I say it because I mean it, because I live in gratitude and appreciation. These are common themes throughout my days. I start and end each day with time spent specifically on what I appreciate about my life, and although it’s far from perfect, there is way more to appreciate than there isn’t.
So if I tell you that I appreciate you, I say it with all of my heart. And I say it to my Pub Family and my Medium community regularly because I am so deeply grateful for those of you who share your beautiful words on Hope, Healing and Humour, and on Medium in general, and in your thoughtful comments and exchanges with me.
And there ain’t nothin’ that’s ever gonna stop me sayin’ it because some people just don’t know how to accept a few kind words.
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